Sebastian Stories: Customer Service


Sebastian Stories – The Best Shaman in the Three Worlds

The front doorbell was ringing incessantly and Sebastian wondered, as he approached the door, what the drama could be. He recalled M.F.K. Fisher’s prescription for cocktails which seemed somehow to apply.

“One is perfect, two is too many, and three is not enough!”

Opening the door, Sebastian discovered a young lady pressing the doorbell with an almost desperate expression on her otherwise charming face.

“Oh, I’m so glad you’re here,” she said, raising her hand, “My name is Meghan.”

“Please come in,” said Sebastian with a welcoming smile.

He led her down the hall to his study and invited her to sit opposite the massive desk that dominated the room. Seating himself behind the desk, he gave her a quick assessment.

The young lady before him was about thirty years old and very well put together. She possessed a remarkable presence and consequentially, a remarkable beauty. Her ethnicity was obviously very rich and resulted in almost copper-colored skin. Combined with green eyes and black hair drawn severely back, the effect was startling.

Sebastian smiled again and leaned back in his chair.

“What can I do for you, Meghan?”

The young lady started to explain her situation in some detail and how desperate it was, but Sebastian couldn’t shake an idea that had occurred to him.

“Meghan, you’re not from around these parts, are you?”

Meghan stopped, looked at him carefully with her green eyes, and gave him the same kind of assessment he had given her. Then she took a deep breath, and started her story from the beginning.

She explained that because of a hitch in time/space she had to spend a few months, as we measure time, chilling in the Earth dimension.

She was from a neighboring dimension or probability and was recovering from an experiment gone wrong. At a gathering to honor and engage the full Moon, she and a few friends had tried to be in two places at the same time.

The Moon party happened to fall on her appearance day and her friends wanted to give her a private celebration. So they tried an ancient prescription for being in two places at once.

Everything went fine until the crucial point in the spell where they were to imagine the other location. At this moment, the fireworks to celebrate the full Moon went off with a bang and Meghan, distracted and a little frightened, found herself on the Earth plane.

She made contact with her friends and discovered that the peculiarities of the spell meant that she had to wait six months Earth time before returning.

This wasn’t really the reason she was consulting Sebastian, but since he seemed to know who she really was, she spoke plainly about her situation.

“The reason I’m here though has nothing to do with that,” she said emphatically.

“I’ll be back home in a few months and that’s fine. My problem is customer service.”

“Customer service?” Sebastian cocked his head and smiled inquiringly.

“Yes, customer service.” Meghan leaned forward in her chair warming to her topic.

“To pass the time until I can go back home, I got a job in a coffee shop and the attitude of the customers is making me crazy. Many are lovely, of course, but a few of them are really irritating.

“They are rude, condescending, and pretentious to the point of being ridiculous, and they come back and do it all again the next day. The ones that really get me are the frumpy lady putting on airs who is only happy when she has found something wrong.

“The other one is the guy who obviously doesn’t need any more sugar, loading up on the free sugar, ketchup, and mayo packets. Actually piling them into a plastic bag and looking straight at me all the time.”

At this point, Meghan stopped her story, looked around the room, and pointed at an aging, life-size wooden statue in the far corner. A Korean goddess with, unfortunately, a missing hand.

She asked, “Do you mind?”

Understanding her intention, Sebastian steeled himself and said, “No problem.”

Meghan glanced briefly at the statue and Sebastian felt rather than saw the bolt of energy she let fly, which resulted in the statue bursting into a thousand flaming pieces.

Without premeditation, both Meghan and Sebastian immediately adjusted their focus to a nearby probability where the statue was as before. Interestingly, the missing hand was fully restored in this probability.

Meghan looked pleadingly into Sebastian’s face.

“I’m terrified that I’ll lose my temper and do something awful! Can you help me?”

(to be continued)

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